The Greatest Guitar Solo Ever

Title track from the above album. Doesn't get any better in my opinion. Zappa was so on the night he played this piece. Beautiful. Go. Buy. Now.

Quote of the Day

"So, when Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, if you go for all these fairy tales, that 'evil' woman convinced the man to eat the apple, but the apple came from the Tree of Knowledge. And the punishment that was then handed down, the woman gets to bleed and the guy's got to go to work, is the result of a man desiring, because his woman suggested that it would be a good idea, that he get all the knowledge that was supposedly the property and domain of God. So, that right away sets up Christianity as an anti-intellectual religion. You never want to be that smart. If you're a woman, it's going to be running down your leg, and if you're a guy, you're going to be in the salt mines for the rest of your life. So, just be a dumb fuck and you'll all go to heaven. That's the subtext of Christianity."

-FZ

Random Ridiculousness

True.

NoMeansNo - 0+2=1

Classic NoMeansNo. One of my favorite records. Enjoy.

Check it: http://tiny.cc/poAZz

My Favorite Records - Joe's Garage

This album is great for three reasons. Firstly, it is really fucking funny. The world of music has never had anyone funnier than Zappa. The man was a serious musician, but he didn't take himself seriously at all. And I don't want to hear shit like, "Well, Zappa was vulgar and misogynistic." It is satire people. Look the word up and stop being such dense assholes. Actually, without the dolts of the world (which there are many) Zappa would not have had anyone to make fun of, so stay the way you are, you sloppy bastards. Secondly, the musicianship and musical concept Joe's Garage displays is staggeringly wonderful. Nobody mixed genres better than Zappa. Absolutely nobody. By the way, what was up with Vinnie Colaiuta on this record? His drumming on Joe's is so great that I almost pissed myself the first time I heard it. Zappa wrote some really complicated drum parts in his time, so playing them was no easy task. Kudos to Vinnie. I now believe the story where, supposedly, Vinnie was sight-reading a complicated piece of music and eating sushi at the same time. Which is just superhuman.

Lastly, Joe's has everything you'd want and expect from a Zappa album. His stark originality is on full display here. The man was as original as any composer/musician can hope to be. He essentially created his own world. Of course, JG possesses that great Zappa production, which is not a surprise since Frank was a tremendous sound engineer. He was always one step ahead of everyone in that department. Although, wasn't he always one step ahead when it came to everything? Joe's Garage certainly shows off Zappa's ballsy, I can do whatever the fuck I want attitude as well. There were simply no limits for this guy. Musically and lyrically. He did whatever he wanted to do, which is really rare in this world. And, of course, it has Frank's trademark solos and unison runs. Nothing else on this planet sounds like a Zappa melody. There is no other guitarist out there that I would rather listen to than Zappa. The song Watermelon in Easter Hay is the only song I can think of that nearly makes me cry. The lead is so heartbreaking. This track just means so much to me and I become really sad every time I hear it because Frank is gone. I know that sounds sappy, but I don't care. Joe's Garage is simply one of my favorite records. I couldn't imagine living on Earth or Mars or Pluto without it.

Here is a great story told by Steve Vai about Colaiuta's aforementioned sight-reading ability:

"He's one of the most amazing sight-readers that ever existed on the instrument. One day we were in a Frank rehearsal, this was early '80s, and Frank brought in this piece of music called 'Mo 'N Herb's Vacation.' Just unbelievably complex. All the drums were written out, just like 'The Black Page' except even more complex. There were these runs of like 17 over 3 and every drumhead is notated differently. And there were a whole bunch of people there, I think Bozzio was there. Vinnie had this piece of music on the stand to his right. To his left he had another music stand with a plate of sushi on it, okay? Now the tempo of the piece was very slow, like 'The Black Page.' And then the first riff came in, [mimics bizarre Zappa-esque drum rhythm patterns] with all these choking of cymbals, and hi-hat, ruffs, spinning of rototoms and all this crazy stuff. And I saw Vinnie reading this thing. Now, Vinnie has this habit of pushing his glasses up with the middle finger of his right hand. Well I saw him look at this one bar of music, it was the last bar of music on the page. He started to play it as he was turning the page with one hand, and then once the page was turned he continued playing the riff with his right hand, as he reached over with his left hand, grabbed a piece of sushi and put it in his mouth, continued the riff with his left hand and feet, pushed his glasses up, and then played the remaining part of the bar. It was the sickest thing I have ever seen. Frank threw his music up in the air. Bozzio turned around and walked away. I just started laughing."

Quote of the Day

"I've often thought there ought to be a manual to hand to little kids, telling them what kind of planet they're on, why they don't fall off it, how much time they've probably got here, how to avoid poison ivy, and so on. I tried to write one once. It was called Welcome to Earth. But I got stuck on explaining why we don't fall off the planet. Gravity is just a word. It doesn't explain anything. If I could get past gravity, I'd tell them how we reproduce, how long we've been here, apparently, and a little bit about evolution. I didn't learn until I was in college about all the other cultures, and I should have learned that in the first grade. A first grader should understand that his or her culture isn't a rational invention; that there are thousands of other cultures and they all work pretty well; that all cultures function on faith rather than truth; that there are lots of alternatives to our own society. Cultural relativity is defensible and attractive. It's also a source of hope. It means we don't have to continue this way if we don't like it."

-Vonnegut in Playboy (1973)

Quote of the Day

"I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured by animosities."

-Ambrose Bierce